Love You Forever my Angel baby....

Three weeks ago on your Daddy's birthday we found out we were expecting you - what a special surprise and gift God had given us. You were just meant to be we thought!
We loved you before we knew you. I already wondered if you would look like one of your adorable older brothers, if you would be a boy or a girl, and what we would name you. I immediately started making plans on how I would take care of you in my belly and we started looking through the Pottery Barn Kids catalog to see what we could do with your nursery. I planned to take more pictures this time of you growing my belly and to try and just enjoy being pregnant more and treasure feeling you move in the night without counting the days until your delivery.

Thursday morning I saw the sonogram that showed the tiny sac that would be your home within me until April and the tiny yolk that would feed you. We could not see your heartbeat, though. God had called you home.

Thursday night, August 14th, I started the labor pains I felt with your brothers. It was then that instead of being delivered to us, you were delivered straight to the arms of the Lord.

I couldn't sleep much that night. I couldn't stop thinking about you and how much I wanted you back. It was about 4 am that I woke up crying and went to the family room to see it was raining with large drops flowing down the window. I thought of them as tears for you but I know that Heaven has nothing to be sad about - your beautiful and perfect little soul is dancing with the angels now.

Our hearts ache that we won't be able to hold or kiss you in this world but we have comfort that you will be of the first to greet us in Heaven I am sure.

You have already helped us to remember how much we are loved with so many sweet calls and notes from friends and family. You have helped us to remember how precious life is and that we never know what path God may lead us down. It was a miracle that He gave us you if only for a moment.
We are reminded that God can do amazing things even in our darkest hours. Kristen, my dear friend who of all people, lost both her precious daughters this summer (Cathryn just over 3 weeks ago) was the first person to show up at my doorstep with a hug. I am still incredibly awed and humbled that God would work in such a way to show me that He can provide healing and selflessness through even the most broken hearted. He chose Kristen to be my Angel that day. I can't even describe how much that meant to me. Thank you my sweet friend. I am still speechless when I think it was just 3 weeks ago that I stood with you sharing hugs and tears by the side of your sweet Angel, Cathryn. Maybe our darlings have met one another by now....I would like to think so.

I Love You forever my Angel baby. Your little life is written carefully on my heart.

Love,
Your Mommy

I included the lyrics of this beautiful song heard in this post. It gives me a reminder that because of the hope we have in Him, He will have us together again someday with nothing but joy.

To those that read this, I hope you might stay long enough to listen to the end of the song. (if you want to hear song, please click play button at top of post). It is wonderful. Pain brings a different kind of comfort. No matter how broken we are, we always have Hope - I pray you do, too.

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace


The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forget to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine

You are forever mine